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Sexual abuse knows no religious or social boundaries. The Wounded Heart is an intensely personal and specific look at this form of abuse. Dr. Allender explores the secret lament of the soul damaged by sexual abuse and lays hold of the hope buried there by the One whose unstained image we all bear. Includes information about false memory issues.
- Sales Rank: #22640 in Books
- Brand: Tyndale House Publishers
- Published on: 2008-08-27
- Released on: 2008-08-13
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .70" w x 5.80" l, .75 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
- NavPress Publishing Group
From the Back Cover
You may think you don’t know anyone who has been sexually abused, especially if most of your friends and acquaintances are Christians. But the statistics indicate otherwise. The Wounded Heart is an intensely personal and specific look at this most “soul deadening” form of abuse. Personal because it may be affecting you, your spouse, a close friend or neighbor, or someone you know well at church; and specific because it goes well beyond the general issues and solutions discussed in other books.
Dr. Allender’s book reaches deep into the wounded heart of someone you know, exploring the secret lament of the soul damaged by sexual abuse and laying hold of the hope buried there by the One whose unstained image we all bear.
About the Author
Dr. Dan B. Allender received his MDiv from Westminster Theological Seminary and his PhD in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University.
Dan taught in the Biblical Counseling Department of Grace Theological Seminary for seven years (1983–1989). From 1989–1997 Dan worked as professor in the Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling program at Colorado Christian University, Denver, Colorado. Currently, Dan serves as Professor of Counseling Psychology and President at Mars Hill Graduate School (MHGS.edu) in Seattle, Washington.
He travels and speaks extensively to present his unique perspective on sexual abuse recovery, love and forgiveness, worship, and other related topics. He is the author of The Wounded Heart (NavPress), and has coauthored four books with Dr. Tremper Longman III, Intimate Allies (Tyndale), The Cry of the Soul (NavPress), Bold Love (NavPress), and Breaking the Idols of Your Heart (IVP). Dan and his wife, Rebecca, have three children and live in Seattle, Washington.
Most helpful customer reviews
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful.
Trust the 1-star reviews. This is a very damaging book.
By H. Case
I read the previous reviews of this book, both the 5-star and the 1-star reviews. I was concerned about the 1-star reviews but as a Christian, I thought maybe I would understand the problematic parts from a different perspective. I thought maybe based on the previous reviews, the author would be saying that it's not important if you can remember who hurt you or what was done, or that you have to forgive to be able to move on. I have to say that it is much more victim-blaming than I expected. Very early in the book, he says that even 5-year-old victims are capable of sin, in the sense of being rebellious against God. I skipped ahead to later chapters to skim and see if it got better, and it didn't. This, from one of the last chapters in the book: "The damage the victim does to others by her failure to love God and neighbor with all her being deserves judgment--that is, the just penalty of death and separation from God." From there, the author goes on to compare the victim to the story of the prodigal son in the Bible.
This is extremely damaging to someone who is recovering from childhood sexual abuse. I have to believe that God can heal me and I am trying to learn how to love others. I am working to forgive what was done to me. But to say that my failure to love God and other people enough, while I'm in a broken state, is not going to help me heal.
24 of 27 people found the following review helpful.
Could not get past the part of this book regarding ...
By CJ1419
Could not get past the part of this book regarding repressed memories. Some of the concerns addressed such as not being called to remember all events regarding repressed memory I think is an unfair and conceivably shaming statement. It is up to the individual's need as to whether they need to remember more or not. How dare the author speak for those abused individuals and their unique road to travel. Update... I re-read some of the first part of this book and I was in error about his one particular statement about repressed memory. Having said that I still would not recommend this book. It is just too shaming for any vulnerable individual dealing with the trauma of sexual abuse. I can't abide any book on sexual abuse, particularly child sexual abuse that points to the victim's sin. Most victims already feel horrendous and overwhelming shame they don't need a finger, no matter how well meaning, pointed in their face.
As a Christian I would recommend "Suffering and the Heart of God" by Diane Langberg. The compassion with which she writes in that particular book is deep and meaningful and, I believe, Christlike. I also recommend it to anyone wanting to walk the path beside someone who is suffering trauma.
49 of 49 people found the following review helpful.
Buckle your seat belt
By D. Villa
This book is excellent, but should not be read in isolation. If done in a group setting led by someone you trust, you will have companions to journey with as you face your past and the pain of abuse. I have seen change in my own life and in the lives of friends as we worked through the workbook together.
Beginning with identification of present day problems and symptoms related to abuse, it continues with your past history, walking you through your responses to victimization. Denial and memory issues are dealt with as well. It is the best tool I know of to help you connect the effects of past abuse with ongoing damage to relationships in the present. It helps you learn to navigate your internal emotional realm with greater clarity, asking you to walk down paths you have previously avoided because of denial, fear, and confusion.
This book stands out because it goes beyond victimization to helping you examine how your responses to abuse have carried over into adulthood, often in sinful ways. It is unflinchingly honest and the work is difficult. If you are not prepared to examine your heart, I suggest that you put this book aside for another day. It offers no quick fix band-aids, but addresses the need for a thorough cleansing of the wound, bringing your pain to the surface where it can be dealt with. It helps you learn to deal with the damage done to your mind, heart, and emotions, and acknowledges that the difficulty of the struggle is prolonged. It doesn't let you off the hook when it comes to examining your sin, but it is written with empathy and understanding, offering a biblical path to healing and restoration. If you choose to go through this book while entrusting your heart and healing to God, you will be richly rewarded as you begin to see change in yourself and in your relationship to God and others.
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